Tag «women»

How to Fake an Orgasm

Immediately after the first few strokes I regretted the decision to let him hit. After being celibate for so long, my desires finally whispered louder than my conscience. I let curiosity kill the cat. Or at least I wished the cat would be killed, these little baby strokes weren’t enough to even make her purr. …

Issa Fact: Why Men Lie

For the life of me, I’ll never be able to figure out why men lie when they don’t have to. Dudes lie for sport like they get an Oscar after they get the woman to believe them. I was dealing with this dude heavy, not officially my guy, but every chance he got he reassured …

When the Whatevership Ends: How to Cope

Moving on after a break up is extremely hard, it’s even harder when the guy was never really yours to begin with. It almost feels like because you two were never “official” that you aren’t allowed to feel the pain of the separation. When whateverships go bad, a whole different can of worms is opened …

Ashley’s Anecdote: Girl Fight Part 2

Check out Part 1 here… I swear I blinked and in 1.2 seconds all of them were just taking turns tagging Catalyst. Now I have to superman dive over the backseat because I can’t get out on my side because my shit-talking friend has parked too close to the truck beside us. Defense is seemingly …

Ashley’s Anecdote: Girl Fight Part 1

There are certain situations you just never think you’ll be in… this was one of them. I’m proud to say that I have repented from some of my ratchet ways, so I no longer fight girls on the corner of college street. But there was a time, when I was not above it. Circa January …

Woman to Woman: That’s (y)OUR Man? Finale

If you and your girlfriends have never had one of those covert black ops missions where you had to pull up on somebody’s person of interest, you haven’t lived or loved hard enough yet…. or maybe you just got a good dude, or maybe you think popping up is childish. Either way, feel free to …

Woman to Woman: That’s (y)OUR Man? Pt. 2

So I left off letting y’all know that me and bird #167 had a conversation by phone where she was acting like what I had to say really didn’t matter. (Catch up on that story here.) Not gonna lie, at first I was a little perturbed because I felt like I was trying to really …

Woman to Woman: That’s (y)OUR Man?

This story might piss a few people off… but when I say I don’t give two shits, let’s be clear: I don’t give two shits, one shit, red shit, blue shit. So inevitably, it’s Valentine’s Day. Often referred to by many as Singles Awareness Day -S.A.D. In this case I’ll refer to it as Valen-he-ain’t-mines …

Mr. Grey is Back: Old Habits Die Hard

If there’s one thing I learned, it’s that most people are creatures of habit. You get into a swing of doing things a certain way, at a certain time and anything outside of that doesn’t really cross your mind unless something unexpected comes up. Use caution when this comes to men and relationships. One time, …

Dating is a Gamble: All Bets are Off

I don’t know that there’s anything more frustrating than putting time and energy into something that does not yield results. This could be related to just about anything: weight loss, career advancement, hair growth, relationships, whatever. I think that’s why I get so frustrated with the whole dating thing. When I start dating someone exclusively …

When He Doesn’t Choose You

I think for every man there is at least one woman that has the power to make him wanna act right, the sucky thing is, when you find out that you are not that woman. I have come to that realization at least 3 times now and I am tirrrrreeedddd of not being the one. …

To Wait or Not to Wait: Sex is the Question

It never fails that any time the “when to have sex” question comes up, I end up wanting to throat chop a guy for being a guy. Like, the logic of men is truly baffling. Let me preface this post by saying, this here, is my opinion… so if you don’t like it, you can …

Ashley’s Anecdote: Date #180

I have had some pretty terrible dates. This, is one of them. Once upon a time I decided to go out with one of those peanut butter boys I told y’all to stay away from. I shoulda known from the beginning that it was a dead end, and yet I still exchanged numbers with him. …

Goldilocks and the 3 Baes

Sooooo, this post is probably gonna make me lose all my hoes but oh well. In this dating phase I feel like Goldilocks and the 3 bears. I am Goldilocks of course and the bears = baes. I’ve been wandering through the thickets of the dating forest for awhile so I decided to stop by …

Forbidden Fruit: Part 2 – Fra-lationship

In case you missed part 1, click the link here to get the first half off the story and then continue below: So here’s the problem: homeboy told me upfront, like way in the beginning he wasn’t looking/ready for a relationship. Which was cool, because in the beginning, I wasn’t even entertaining him in that …

Forbidden Fruit: Part 1

You ever see a train wreck happening (metaphorically of course, if you saw it happen in real life, you’d probably need some serious therapy) but anyways, you see and know a train wreck is about to happen and all you can do is let it happen. I have something like an out-of-body experience every time …

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly: Memories

I’m so pissed. I keep having night terrors about the men I used to love and care about. It’s bad enough that when I’m awake I have to make myself forget what it felt like waking up next to him. You never think you’ll miss someone’s funky hot morning breath until each of your mornings …

Love Lessons: Learn it. Live it.

One of the worst feelings I’ve probably ever experienced with a significant insignificant other is being in love alone. Feeling or caring deeply about another person who can’t/won’t/doesn’t reciprocate. I’ll never forget the last time I wore my heart on my sleeve and a guy metaphorically ripped that shirt off and A-Town stomped on it. …

Pre-Independence Day: Fuck Adulthood.

Man fuck adulthood. I wish someone had told me as a child that this shit is a trap. I’m 27, man-less, child-less, at a job I just did a career change to this year after being unemployed for half the year before. Though I managed to successfully swerve student loans, credit card debt and a car …