Tag «Sex»

The Good, the Bad, the Ugly: Memories

I’m so pissed. I keep having night terrors about the men I used to love and care about. It’s bad enough that when I’m awake I have to make myself forget what it felt like waking up next to him. You never think you’ll miss someone’s funky hot morning breath until each of your mornings …

Love Lessons: Learn it. Live it.

One of the worst feelings I’ve probably ever experienced with a significant insignificant other is being in love alone. Feeling or caring deeply about another person who can’t/won’t/doesn’t reciprocate. I’ll never forget the last time I wore my heart on my sleeve and a guy metaphorically ripped that shirt off and A-Town stomped on it. …

Post-Independence Day: Find your Freedom

Well Happy Belated Birthday Amurica… I’m truly happy you’ve gotten your freedom. Now, now I’d like to have my freedom. *cues Beyonce* I feel like I spend  a lot of time wondering what the difference is between myself and those who I view as “successful”.  One of my favorite quotes in regards to that thought: …

Pre-Independence Day: Fuck Adulthood.

Man fuck adulthood. I wish someone had told me as a child that this shit is a trap. I’m 27, man-less, child-less, at a job I just did a career change to this year after being unemployed for half the year before. Though I managed to successfully swerve student loans, credit card debt and a car …

I Ain’t Got No Type–Lie Again.

I hate, excuse me, I loathe when guys ask: “So what type of guy do you like?” In my mind, I instantly cue the song “I ain’t got no type” but if I really think about it, I actually do. Most guys that I’ve ever been in a relationship/whatevership with have been fairly similar as …

Ashley’s Anecdotes: Accidentally the Mistress Pt. 2

Her: Did you know he was married? Me: No. Her: We’ve been married a year, together for 5. Me: Oh. Her: So I just need to hear it from you, are you two in a relationship? Me: Relationship, no. Communicating yes. Her: Well honey you can have him because I’m divorcing his ass. Me: *deep …

Ashley’s Anecdotes: Accidentally the Mistress

There are just certain situations you think you’d never be in, this, was one of them. If you’ve followed my blog for any extended amount of time you’ve probably read enough to know that I absolutely despise side chicks. Between the numerous posts devoted to these hoes girls and the constant digs I take every …

Guard Your Heart: How to tell if he is a F*ckboy

Here’s what I found that a lot of f*ck boys have in common: They don’t want to go on dates. –Yes, Mr. Netflix and chill is a f*ckboy. If he doesn’t want to take you to the next step outside your place or his place (if he even has one), what makes you think he …

Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing: Friend or Foe?

Sometimes you already know the truth about a situation, but you just refuse to accept it. I find that I do this a lot. I say, oh I don’t know we’ll see, but I be knowing. After 27 years of living, I  think I’ve finally learned my learning style…. I only learn the hard way. …

It Goes Down in the DMs: The Truth about Community D

So here recently after some intense girl talk, I’ve determined that it does indeed go down in the DM. Social media has made your average person 100 times more accessible and appealing, and with nothing but cyber space and opportunity, nobodies think they’re somebodies and all the wires have been crossed. There is no such …

People Presents: Unwrapping the Truth

I truly think that every person is a gift and has a gift. Depending on how a gift is wrapped, people tend to judge the quality of what’s inside it. Think about it like Christmas time when you were a child. Chances are you snuck under the tree when your parents weren’t looking to see …

Ashley’s Anecdotes: Baby Mama Brawl…Butt Ass Naked Pt 2

I finally make it “home” and was there all of 3 days before we get into fight. I honestly don’t even remember why we were fighting, I was probably being needy, tired of asking him to spend quality time with me (because that’s my love language). He left one night, didn’t come home. I’m sitting …

Ashley’s Anecdotes: Baby Mama Brawl…Butt Ass Naked

So almost exactly a year ago I published That’s Not Yo Bae Bish where I mentioned a bunch of situations that were seemingly hypothetical, but were actually real life events. I promise, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. At the time I said that I would do a slow leak where I …

How to Find the “One”: 5 Keys

If you thought this was gonna be some flowery post about how to find your one true love, you are clearly new to my blog. This a guide on how to spot the not. So just about every girl has that “one guy”. The one who has broken her heart countless times, the one she …

So Why Are You Single? 6 Reasons Why You’re Still Single

I absolutely LOATHE this question. 1. Because EVERY new possibae asks it. 2. Because after being asked so many times, it’s like damn why the hell am I single? A real humbling experience when you start to think something is wrong with you. Every new possibae I meet: So why are you single? Me (in …

How to Avoid Wack D: (S)Expectations

If I had a set of magical powers or special abilities, one of those abilities as a female would be the power to take my sex back. Like have you ever did the nasty with someone and found out that it was a complete waste of your time and body count? Like the dude just …

Message to the Side-Chick/New Girl

So I figure I can’t be the only one who has ever had a man (now an ex) be like “you don’t event have to worry about her, we’re just <insert lying ass statement here>” only for him to turn around and do some ole fuck shit with the same girl you weren’t supposed to …

Playing the Hand you’re Dealt: Present vs. Potential

So I consider myself to be a pretty good judge of character, but I have made the GRAVE mistake in thinking that a good judge of character is synonymous with a good judge of men choice. I have made piss poor choices in men every since I stopped thinking they were stupid and gross in …

#FBF If It Walk Like a Duck

You know what time it is! In preparation for my new series this month focused on “Why Do Men Cheat”, today’s flashback Friday post is called “If It Walk Like a Duck”. Click here to see the post.    When someone shows you who they are, believe them. -Mya Angelou.  Also co-signed by Oprah (above), …