The Real Him/Her

Just once when I meet someone I’m interested in getting to know, I would like to get to know them. Lemme explain, from what I’ve experienced, if you meet a guy tomorrow and decide to go out on a date to get to know each other better, you still don’t know  the guy. You’ve just met his representative.

The representative shows you all the positives and possibilities with ole dude, you get all excited because he’s just wonderful. You have nothing negative to say about him. Sure he has some flaws, but you’ve already determined that these aren’t deal breakers and that you can deal with them because you accept him. This representative sticks around for at least 3 months, but more than likely up until the point you really love this individual.

Now that you’re in waist deep, you meet the real character. The real character is not always bad, let me say that, however you’ll find that there may be some details that were left out before like maybe he was engaged, or got a girl pregnant once (or twice) before, maybe his cousin is deranged. Idk, just something you didn’t see before. These are things that you might can work through.

But what if you find out he is a serial (emotional) cheater, or really emotionally/verbally abusive, or for heavens sakes he won’t eat the cookie! These are REAL problems! But by now you’re stupid-dumb-in-love and you might try to work through it.

If you’re anything like me then you’re holding on to that representative, trying to work to get it back and you’re unable to accept either who that person really is or who they’ve become. You’ve fallen in love with the concept of who y’all were or could be, but the reality is that someone is settling. To be honest, it might not be you who’s settling, it might be your significant other. So be sure to check yourself, shoot, I do.

My point for this post is to caution against those representatives and concepts of people in relationships. It’s like a mirage; everyone around you can see that it’s not really there, but to you it’s never felt more real and you see what you want to see. And when you finally stop chasing that mirage, you’ll see it was never really there.

It takes a minute before you meet the real him/her, remember that.

~Ashley La’Shae

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