Bobbbb the builder! Can we fix it?! Bobbbbb the builder! Yes we can! –Y’all remember this cartoon?
*Ahem* Clearly Bob has never tried to fix a relationship. You can fix a lot of things, but some things are just irreparable. My question/rant for today is about “fixing” relationships. Let me state that I think you can fix a relationship, but I also believe that you can get to a point where fixing it is not possible.
Now for me, I’m a fixer. I’ll ride a relationship til the wheels fall off for real. I’m a “baby we can do this. We can figure it out. We’ll make it work. etc. etc.” And that’s not out of desperation; I think I can be a good catch to anyone, but it’s out of extreme unconditional, unbreakable (sometimes stupid), wife-like love. I’ll love a man through hell and high water. I’m going to be a great wife for someone and I don’t doubt that, however, me loving every serious boyfriend with this much force might not be the best option because I tend to stay when it’s probably best I walk away. I got that “we ain’t getting no divorce, so we gotta figure this shit out” mentality.
But if you and your lover are stuck in a vicious cycle, somebody’s gotta break it. I’m just too committed and persistent to break it, so I wait until I get pushed out by whatever circumstance be it getting hurt to the point of no return or him walking away from me. It’s usually that I get hurt to the point of no return, then your ass is grass buster. That’s me in a dead end relationship.
I know some girls (and guys) stay because of low self esteem –they feel like whoever they’re with is the best they’ll ever have so they tolerate all the bullshit. Some just don’t know better, so they deal in what they know. And others are just comfortable and secure in that dysfunction. But whatever your reason for staying to work it out is neither here nor there, the main question is how?
How do you know when your relationship has gotten past the point of being able to fix it and if you can still fix it, where do you start? This, you need to recognize and identify. Assess your relationship, talk to God about it and then make sure you tell your lover what you’re feeling/thinking. You can’t move on and still be in a relationship or heavily involved with them… that’ll get your car keyed 😉