So folk always talmbout how they want a relationship filled with honesty. Honesty in my opinion is highly overrated.To keep it one hundred withcha, I can only handle so much honesty, I’m too damn sensitive to know the truth all of the time. I can admit that. The problem is, the female you’re dealing with probably won’t logically come to the same conclusion. She’ll say some bs like “Tell me the truth…Keep it 100…Just be real…I can handle whatever you have to say.” -_-
Ladies, I’ve learned that men lie a LOT to protect our feelings –THIS IS NOT TO BE CONFUSED WITH THE TRIFLING CHEATING LYING NIGGA. Let me put that PSA out there. But if a man really loves you, at some point he’s going to lie to you. I think I’ve accepted that. The truth is if he really told you the honest truth about questions you ask him, 100% of the time, you’d be mad/sad/salty like 97.3% of the time. That’s no fun for you or him. Thus and such, they lie.
So, I’m like your average educated black woman when it comes to perspectives in relationships, and I’ve asked a dude to be 100% honest with me before. Ha, y’all… When a dude is REALLY honest with you (with no tact), the shit is not pleasant. I can laugh now, but it wasn’t funny then.
I was all (^_^) when I asked the question, then I was like (-_-) be forreal, which turned to (>_<) wait you’re serious, so now I’m all d-_-b…. and he’s like ( ¯_(ツ)_/¯) what did I say? Guys, y’all know what I’m talking bout.
The thing is, most guys don’t naturally have a filter like females. Like, take a group of female friends getting dressed to go out. Your homegirl could very well put on a dress that makes her look like a stuffed sausage, we have the skill of politely letting homegirl know that she should take the dress off immediately and hell, we’ll even pick out something better for her to wear! We may say something like “Nah girl, that dress doesn’t ‘accentuate your figure’, you need something that will show off your curves [not amplify them].”
Now, take the same situation. You getting dressed in front of your man, right …and you ask him “What do you think, be honest.” If he really says the first thing that comes to mind, something like “You look like there are 3 tidal waves struggling to roll out of the back of your dress, take that off.” You, are going, to be, pissed. It was the man’s honest opinion and you’re penalizing him for it.
Let’s just say, your man DOES have some tact and a little bit of a filter. Same situation instead he says “No, I don’t like it. Try something else.” Truth is, you’re STILL not going to let him live. You’ll be all like, “What’s wrong with this?” He answers. Now your second question “What makes you say that?” Third question. “And what is THAT supposed to mean?” Fourth question. “So what you saying?” Fifth question. “Oh that’s how you feel?” Sixth question. “So you saying I’m fat?”
Never fails. Honesty in relationships is a fine line you must walk. Of course when it comes to his/her fidelity, strength of emotions/love for you, and future plans, one should not lie. But I’ll give my man a break every once in awhile when it comes to these little white lies. I mean, men lie, women lie, numbers don’t lie… right?
Long as you tell me the truth about what really counts, I’m good. And don’t be lying just for the hell of it. Other than that, carry on. Whoever said “The truth?! You can’t handle the truth!” was on to something…
And if you disagree with this theory, you’re probably lying to yourself. Or have so many defense mechanisms up that if somebody did tell you the truth all of the time, you’ve learned to cope with those feelings out of sight, seemingly okay with “the truth”. Well I know better.
Just keepin’ it one-hunnit!