Entitlement vs. Ownership… Side Chicks.

Sooooo… my thoughts today are on relationships [go figure]. Entitlement vs. Ownership. I want you heaux folk to understand the difference, because there most definitely is one. Both make you feel like you have some sort of claims, when in reality you may not. I’ll give you some examples:

Entitlement: When you’ve invested so much of something (perhaps yourself, money, time, etc.) that you feel like you have claims to it or like you’re owed something.

Women– If you are a baby mama, that does not, I repeat DOES NOT entitle you to a man. He does not belong to you simply because you carried an extra 30 lbs for 9 months and pushed a cantaloupe out of a walnut. I know it sucks to hear but somebody’s got to tell ya. I’ve seen soooooo many baby mama’s with false security in a relationship, that turn around and get hurt when “their man” wants to parlay in a fresh walnut that didn’t get stretched to a lime O_o Though you may feel he owes you something or belongs to you, you are sadly mistaken. Now put on your big girl panties, move on and let the man see his child.

Men– Just because you buy her shit, or maybe even pay for her upkeep, you don’t own her. And trust, if you are not even in the boyfriend category, but you steady showering her with gifts, that does not mean she thinks of you as her man. Now you may fall in the category of sugar daddy, sucka, too nice guy, etc. etc. So don’t be getting mad when she doesn’t take your phone calls because she’s out with and another man and you aren’t her man no matter how much you feel like it. So fall back pseudo-boyfriend-turned-stalker.

Ownership: When you take ownership you are acknowledging that the person/project is connected to you (mutually) and you’re more likely to take care of it/he/she because it is an extension of you.

Example:

A car. You make an agreement, sign a contract, and [hopefully] take care of it because it IS yours… or will be after you pay it off.

A spouse. You make a commitment before God, your family, and friends to love, honor, cherish, yada yada yada. But once again, this is generally a mutual agreement [exceptions include arranged marriages, polygamy, etc.] and your life is merged with another.

So take a moment to ask yourself if you really have ownership in your current relationship/whatevership, or if you just feel entitled. The sooner you figure that out, the better. For everyone’s sake. And to be perfectly honest, most of us are guilty of this at some point in our lives. Whether it’s with relationships, or something else. Get on the same page so that you don’t end up feeling and looking stupid. Like Kenya on Real Housewives of Atlanta, prime example. #IJS

Sidenote:

As are most of my posts about relationships, this is an indirect shot at side pieces across the world. For those of you that get tired of giving a man “boyfriend privileges” before he makes you the girlfriend because you thought you were “next in line”, this, is for you. It doesn’t matter how much you give him, it still doesn’t entitle you to him. And if he wanted to take ownership in a relationship with you, he would. Until then, step back in the shade, shut up, and wait for his girl to finish eating. Then you can have the leftovers 😉

~A. La’Shae

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