Two words: Double. Standard.
Men be sooooooo quick to scrutinize a hurt woman; said woman is usually in one of a few predicaments:
- She’s been hurt and still coping [bitter]
- She’s been hurt and doesn’t know how to cope [bitter]
- She’s been hurt and currently getting hurt [bitter]
Men will tear apart a bitter woman, but let’s not neglect the shoe on the other foot. A hurt man, is a whole ‘nutha ball game. He’s just as bitter, the only difference is that he knows how to cover the bitterness with a cloak of hyper-masculinity. He may appear as the:
- Emotionally unavailable man [a challenge]
- Player/ uncommitted man [a challenge]
- Everybody’s favorite (but I’m the favorite because I need that validation) [a challenge still]
Y’ALL…. you niggas…. y’all are the ones that make women such as homegirl on “A Thin Line Between Love and Hate”. She put her heart on the line for nigga #2 mentioned above, the player. You’ll argue “that bit*h was crazy” and yea she probably had a few screws loose, but truth be told, if we were given a full description of her character beyond what we saw in the film, we’d see that she was clearly hurt before. Thus and such, a hurt woman.
Oh but the player, he didn’t give a damn about her critical condition heart, he said what he needed to say to get what he wanted. And tried to leave, typical of a hurt nigga. –They don’t get too attached, that leaves room to get hurt again. A woman puts a wall up and she all types of bitches and hoes, but a man can love’em and leave’em and he’s good.
Let’s just say I was a bitter woman. (No comments from the peanut gallery -_-) My way of dealing with the last nigga’s
fuck-ups mistakes isn’t any worse than your evasive, passive-agressive actions. Know that. Granted, I don’t have this “niggas ain’t sh*t mentality” 100% of the time, but I know y’all ain’t angels. On the flip side, men be having that “I don’t love these heauxs” mentality, even if he’s dating a nice, respectable girl. Defense mechanism. I’m over it.
My point is, men, don’t be so quick to turn your nose up at the next
bitter hurt woman you meet. Chances are if you were/are one of the niggas listed above, you’ve created a monster just like her at some point in your life time. And in all honesty, you’ve probably given some chick just as much hell as homegirl might be giving you.
Women don’t look at hurt men the same way men look at hurt women. Women take on projects and try to fix men (not saying I encourage this) and will subject herself to a lot of bullshit in the process. Men, will talk shit and keep it moving. Occasionally a man will try, but will eventually tap out before all the work is done.
Now take this as a public service announcement: if you are a hurt man, with a good woman –cut the bullshit RIGHT NOW. Not a second later. Because if she’s taking the time out to deal with your antics IN SPITE of her OWN pain and feelings, the very least you could do is straighten up and SOON.