So the other night I ran into an ex-bae and his new mom. At first I didn’t think much about it because it’s not a situation I’m upset about. I’ll admit, when it all fell down a few months ago I was pissed. Felt all those typical feelings of betrayal, hurt, anger … blasé, blasé. I only felt that way because at the time I really thought I was missing out on something. Once I was far enough from the situation to see the larger picture I saw the blessing in disguise.
Ladies ain’t it the best feeling when your old headache becomes someone else’s headache? I mean when you truly have let go of all your thoughts of slashing his tires again and pulling up — to just… nah playa, I’m good on that. The funniest thing though, is that his new mom is always upset at me. The last time we were in a mutual space she slapped my steak onto the floor at a cookout.
I honestly was more upset about the fact that she had pushed a perfectly good steak on the ground, than I was about her “expressing her anger”. Children throw tantrums, that’s what they do because they don’t have the control or language to talk out what they’re feeling. If we’re being 100% honest in the situation — the only one who had grounds to be upset was me.
I was the one in the dark. The one who was deceived. The one pouring into a person who was not pouring back into me, all for him to go test the waters with a girl I had once considered a friend. So, if anybody gets to play the smallest violin, it’s your’s truly and I threw that shit in the trash a long time ago.
That leaves me only to wonder that it’s not me that upsets her, it’s the impression I left on him. All ego aside, if I had wanted to still deal with him after I found out about his bullshit — I could have. This is the mistake that many women make; if I had went back to him, after seeing his true colors, that would mean that I accept that behavior. From then on out I would be looking over my shoulder or hawking him to see if he would step out again.
That’s probably the most unhealthy space you can ever be in; which is why it’s so hard to really move on with the same person after they’ve broken your trust. Either you end up with a guy who is completely henpecked by his woman and he’s just doing everything she says to make up for whatever fucked up situation he put her in. Or you end up with a guy who eventually “leaves the relationship” mentally, though he may still be there physically –because no matter what he does, how much he tries to prove, his girl always thinks he’s lying or that there is someone else.
Those issues, she can have. She can be the one who sits around and wonders if his dick still jumps when he thinks about me. It does. She can be the one who doesn’t know the sex stories about the bondage, the black bag or the time I made him cum with no penetration or head. Sister-girlfriend-honey — that’s her burden to bear now.
Cuz you can bet your sweet ass when he does think of me, he’s thinking of all the good times. He’s probably hidden the little keepsakes I gave him because he knows it would hurt her feelings. Good luck finding those 🙂
He makes sure to keep his head down and eyes off me whenever she’s around — not because he has no desire to look or interact — but because he knows it’s going to be an argument as soon as I’m not around. And she’s gotta live with the fact he still has those desires and can never admit it, meanwhile, I’m in IDGAF land like…
I’ve never had and still have no desire to be in competition over a man because any guy who’ll make a chick feel like she has to be in competition is not a man anyway. A real man takes pride in his girl since she is an extension of him; he has chosen her and has no problem letting any and everyone know that. Those of you (fellas) who play this tennis match, bouncing your balls from girl to girl clearly have identity issues — do us all a favor and know yourself fam.
I refused to play a game where everyone loses, but the funnier thing is that she probably thinks she won. Baby girl is the default champion, not a real contender. She “won” because I walked away, not because she was a better choice — she was just the available one. Hell, if I’d been waiting all that time for my chance, idda shot my shot too. You know what they say, one drop of water can cut through stone with enough persistence. You go girl 😉
And as a disclaimer to him: Child, I would never chase you. I fed you, gave you a place to lay your head when you were couch surfing, loved on you, encouraged you to further your education even though I thought a second bachelor’s degree was redundant, burped you, wiped your baby balls and your stupid janky turtle neck — such a thankless job and you bit the hand that fed you.
What a little bastard move.
After all I’ve done for you, picking you up after your last chick dropped you like the bad habit you were, laying up with you night after night, building you up to be better for the next bitch. Next time I’m the topic of discussion, please be sure to advise your new caretaker to show some gratitude. If it wasn’t for the time and work I put in, she wouldn’t have such a nice little puppet now.
You’re welcome girl.
Now back to your regularly scheduled programming, have a blessed day!