Body Count: What is a Hoe? QTNA

Can somebody PLEASE explain to me, what makes a hoe a hoe? I’ve been in numerous circles asking this same question and can’t seem to come to a consensus.

I remember back in the day, most guys would ask a chick her body count to determine if she was a hoe. If the number was too high or higher than expected, then the hoe detector test determined she was a hoe.

At what point do you stop asking people what their body count is? What is a high body count? Is it a ratio of dicks to time in between peen or is it a standard “you’ve hit your dick threshold you will now and forever be a hoe”? Can hoe-ness be erased after doing time without peen, thirst traps and added daily prayer?

Between the ages of 25-54 there are roughly 1,478,739,525 men in the world; how many of those dicks does it take to turn a woman into a hoe? Is there a mathematical equation? Like if little Sussie has 5 peens in 2 days, then on the 3rd day….

Of the responses I’ve gotten:

  • I’ve been told if a girl has ever had a train ran on her, she is a hoe. (If you don’t know what a train is, I suggest you go to urban dictionary.)
  • If a girl has an astronomically high body count, she is a hoe.
  • If a girl has smashed too many guys that the possibae knows, she is a hoe.
  • If a girl carries herself like a hoe, she is a hoe.

Now let’s say by the above definitions, a chick is determined to be a hoe. Now what? Does she have to wear a scarlet letter? Has she been determined un-wifeable? Is she suffering some sort of loss because of the label someone gave her?

I don’t know about y’all but I know plenty of “hoes” that stay winning. Not that I encourage one way of lifestyle over another, I just recognize it’s not my place to judge. Because when you label someone, whether negatively or positively it is a judgement. A ruling you have made in the court of you. To each’s own.

When I told one guy that calling a chick a hoe is judgmental, he turned around and said “don’t girls call guys hoes if they’ve done similar hoe-like activities?” Let me be clear, I’m sure guys get called hoes all the time, but the fact of the matter is that guys get praised for those “hoe-like activities” whereas girls get slut shamed. You can’t use a double standard to validate judging someone when you know the ruling is in your favor. At least that’s my humble opinion.

But who am I to stand up for the “hoes” of America? The Kim K’s, the Amber Rose’s, the Draya’s? Clearly these are sad miserable women who can only cling to penis for consolation on those lonely nights when they are worried about what the world thinks about them while they live their lives unapologetically. I feel so bad for hoes man.

Everybody wants to clock their pussy mileage and ain’t got shit to do with the upkeep of the vehicle. Do know, if anyone was ever that concerned with my vagina and how and what she’s doing, I’m sending you a bill to help take care of our body bih. Since ya wanna be so concerned about it, help take care of the shit. Hell, I’m a single vagina parent tryna take care of this body, check ya venmo.

But back on the serious tip, what number is “too high” for a body count? Do you get a penis allotment per year or is it every quarter? One dick a month? One dick every 6 months? Annual dick?! Is it all the dick she wants as long as you don’t know the dick owners? If this sounds riDICKulous, it’s because it is.

Personally, I’ll never ask a mate his body count ever again. I don’t want to know. I don’t ask questions I don’t really want to know the answer to. You say a real low number, my mind races. You say a high ass number, my mind races. I’d rather just let well enough alone. All I want to know is that you get tested regularly, your tests come back healthy and you don’t fuck with anyone else while you’re fucking with me.

What you were before you met me has absolutely not a G-D-thang to do with what we have going on now UNLESS you’re stepping out/back into the shit. I am meeting you where you are and if that’s with me, then nothing else matters. Men need a bandaid for hurt pride and damaged egos so they throw out a derogatory term that makes them feel better about whatever feelings of inferiority they’re harboring. And women, well, a lot of women struggle with their own self-esteem so degrading another woman makes them feel better about themselves.

***Commercial break. Now please know, if you come for me and I ain’t send for you, you put the target on ya back sis not me. And shots will be fired.***

Back to your regularly scheduled programming.

If I am your woman, and you are my man — what does what anyone else feels or has to say have to do with the price of tea in China? Only weak minded individuals let the opinions of others dictate how they feel about themselves and/or others. Please grow a pair; or else him and his acorn balls can get to stepping. Come talk to me when you grow the hell up.

I’ll never forget, one time a guy told me “hoes make the best housewives, they already know how to please their man sexually”. I’m assuming he meant a “hoe” who is no longer messing with anyone else, but nonetheless food for thought. Comment below!

Till next time, keep the cat tuned up — ya never know who’s clocking ya mileage.


Comments 6

  • I think u become a hoe when you dibble and dabble in the same circles. Let’s be real if you keep your ish tight and selective with who you move with then how would anybody know you’re a hoe. The issue lies when their is some type of connection between all the guys you’re messing with. At no time should any guys be able to sit back at a kick back and talk about personal experience with u. Sad thing for guys it’s considered a success when you infiltrate the same group of chicks. Smh the world is full of double standards B.

    • I understand what you’re saying here and I agree; those double standards are for the birds. Thank you for sharing!

  • It’s 2017. If you feel like a hoe, you are one. If someone else feels like you are, that’s their problem. I’m grown enough to know that just because my ego as a man is hurt, it doesn’t mean that what I’m mad about is accurate. It’s like Chris Rock said, “2?! 2?! Maybe yo mama raised you that way.” No number is a good number. Because it makes you think about your girl sleeping with another dude, who in your mind is somewhere telling his boys about his conquest of your girl RIGHT NOW. We act like it’s the 1800s. I’m guessing at least 90% of people in a relationship/getting married today are getting married to someone who has multiple people in their past; like a body count that would’ve been unheard of 20-30 years ago (or at least not spoken of). I used to ask girls when I was younger. Now I know that is the most useless question to ask, because there is no right answer. Even if she says she’s a virgin, I’ll find a way to complain about that too lol

    • I completely agree! I feel like hoe is a state of mind too, numbers don’t define it. And yeah I get no man wants to think about another man with his lady but she also can’t change the past. Solid thoughts, thank you so much for sharing!

  • I cut all that calling girls hoe stuff out afer high school! Its sucks thay guys get praised and women get shamed for their body count, but like you said the past shouldn’t matter. How I see it now is just make sure you take care of your body and have safe sex. Wether thats using condums or no condums with one person! Who doesnt love sex ? Just be smart about it. But I honestly haven’t used the word hoe on anybody since I was younger.

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