Issa Fact: Why Men Lie

For the life of me, I’ll never be able to figure out why men lie when they don’t have to. Dudes lie for sport like they get an Oscar after they get the woman to believe them.

I was dealing with this dude heavy, not officially my guy, but every chance he got he reassured me that no one else was in the picture. Imagine my surprise when I found out the picture was actually crowded as fuck.

Right from the jump, I told the guy I didn’t think it was a good idea, he was fresh out of a break up, and I was over any guy from his zip code.

But when I tell you this man Jedi mind tricked me into a whatevership. I just woke up one day like “tf is going on here?”

The kicker is that in the beginning he had absolutely no reason to lie to me. He ain’t have nothing to lose, but he still told lies like his life depended on it. I’d be like: “what color is the sky?” Dude be like: “Green”. I’d be like: “Naw it ain’t stop lying” (without checking for myself). He’d be like: “Yes it is. See when yellow and orange <insert some BS that don’t make sense, but insert it with confidence and consistency> and eventually my ass was like: “I mean I guess I can see how you see green.”

What the fuck just happened? I just let him tell me some shit that I know by experience not to be true.

I thought to myself, this must be how women get Stockholm syndrome. Dude be whipping her ass and after so many ass -whoopings and reinforcement she begins to truly believe that he beats her because he loves her or because it’s her fault.

I’ve been in verbally, emotionally and physically abusive relationships before and let me tell you that shit is real. Women do it every day when they accept blame that is not theirs and begin to equate fuck boy actions to signs that he really cares.

                       

“Well yeah, he lied about fucking her, but he did it to protect me and my feelings because he really loves me.” Girluhhh. If he loved you the way he should, he would have never put you in this position.

Men don’t grow up thinking sharing is caring like females do. They’re taught to have their own and maintain their own, anything out side of that is a sacrifice. Does he or will he sacrifice for you?

I’ve gotten hella off topic, but anyways, dude lied to me while we were in the friend zone which is how he even managed to becoeme more than friends. If I’d known what I know now, the first night he looked into my eyes with compassion, I would have punched him dead in the chest and made his shoulders clap; then jokingly told him, don’t even think about it Bobby Brown. I don’t need to snort a line to know that this shit is bad for me.

Now let me be clear, women 9 times out of 10 (because folk love statistics), will know the correct answer to a question before we even ask. If I give you 2-3 times to give me the whole truth and you STILL lie, you leave me no choice.

No choice but to ring ya name around the rosies in the mud. I’m convinced you don’t want to be great. I asked the dude, plain and simple, what he’d told a girl who’d already confessed. At that point I had the receipts. Bish, he lied right through the gap in his teeth. Lie just slithered out like the snake that he was.

If I ask you a question, I already know the answer, just tell the truth. Men, you don’t do us ladies a favor by not being forthcoming.

Top 5 lines I hate to hear a man say:

  1. I don’t know what you talking bout?/ Huh? — Bih, you heard what the hell I said.
  2. Nah it’s not like that. — If you have to say it’s not like that, it is indeed “like that
  3. I’m sorry –for what? What the hell are you sorry for? Do you really even know or is ya mouth on auto-pilot?
  4. She’s like my… “sister, cousin, homie” –Shit don’t matter, she better be blood or I’m drawing blood.
  5. I didn’t lie, I just didn’t tell you the whole thing — The fuck is this shit B? PSA: A HALF TRUTH ISSA LIE

In my last whatevership, he used every line except number 4. He said she meant nothing and she was nothing to him, instead of the sister/homie line.

But I digress.

I’ll spend a check on whatever guy can give me the reason why men lie when 1. either caught red-handed or 2. before it even makes sense to lie.

Comment Below

-A.

Comments 9

  • I totally dissagree! Not all men lie because I don’t. In my last relationship she got mad when i told her the truth. Thats when I started to lie! So story is we had a open conversation and she asked me if I looked at other girls and I said yea thinking I could be honest with her because she know I’d never cheat, but boy was I wrong. So not all men lie. Sometimes some females need to be lied to for this exact reason.

    • I get what you’re saying. I agree that in order for a man to feel comfortable telling the truth, the woman has to create that open/judgement free/somewhat consequent free space which a lot of women don’t know how to do. (Not referring to white lies of course)

    • I don’t necessarily agree with a “need” to lie. But thank you so much for commenting! I appreciate you sharing your opinion ✊?

  • Yea they have to create that space and be confident and mature about it. I just felt like she put up a wall when i told the truth and when I started to lie after that cause she could tell i was lien when i answered that question at a later time. So its like i couldnt win. Thats my final thoughts lol ?

  • I feel PEOPLE lie just to protect themselves from being vulnerable or in being selfish to keep all things in their control. Men may not be as “smooth” or “witty” when it comes to not being caught. But to your point, story and going forward, I feel in order to protect yourself you should guard and protect your heart. I guess this would be putting up a wall to see if the guy will try to knock it down. Someone told me a few days ago, a man will pursue what he wants holistically for however long it takes. In my own experiences, a woman that I was really trying to do right by and not play games with, I dealt with the wall longer. But of course a man wont chase forever and wont put up with an things that he didn’t cause. its hard to trust anyone period but I feel before you give a man or anyone comfort inside of your life you should find out true intentions or just purely can you trust them.

    • Very well put! I have to agree with you that a lot of people in general use lying as a defense mechanism. Almost as a way to distance themselves from accepting the truth for fear of how it may affect themselves or the other person. I definitely believe a man will work harder to break through a wall to get to a person he really wants. And yes, above all else you must guard your heart -no truer words. Thank you so much for sharing the male perspective!

  • I don’t think you were saying that all men lie I think you were saying “oh but when they do…”. Lying is very easy and mostly innocent. You can’t prove intent but 9 times out of 10 (for the stats people lol) no one lies with the intention to hurt. As a professional liar myself, I lie to protect; feelings, my loved ones, my reputation. As for men…they really do lie on auto-pilot. As I’ve gotten older the lies have gotten more humorous. “Gotta be quicker than that.” Great post, Ash ❤️

    • Exactly! Folk love the stats lol. Like it never fails when men’s mouth go on that auto-pilot, I’ve just accepted that some things are out of my control. Thanks for reading and commenting love! 🙂

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