Ashley’s Anecdote: Girl Fight Part 1

There are certain situations you just never think you’ll be in… this was one of them.

I’m proud to say that I have repented from some of my ratchet ways, so I no longer fight girls on the corner of college street. But there was a time, when I was not above it.

Circa January 2014 after my last fight in August 2013 with my ex’s baby mama, I found myself on the corner of college street in a melee with 5 girls. Let me explain…

I feel like every girl group of friends has that one girlfriend who talks the most shit, but cannot throw hands. In this case, my homegirl who will remain unnamed to keep me from being sued in the future when I’m important for the integrity of this story, started talking shit to a car full of chicks from South Carolina (SC).

We’ll call this homegirl Catalyst and my other homegirl, we’ll call Defense ; we decided to go out for a night on the town. Catalyst drives, mind you Catalyst can’t drive for shit.  She’s the friend who’s driving makes you say a prayer every time you get in the car with her, but nonetheless you still keep risking your life so you don’t have to drive. Catalyst also has the worst road rage ever. Like ever.

Once we pull up to the club, there’s minimal parking and we’re waiting behind the car full of SC chicks. Two guys have walked up to their car and are trying to holler at the girls… preventing traffic from moving. Catalyst is tipsy and growing more and more impatient with waiting. There’s one empty space that assumedly the SC chicks were going to pull into. Defense [who is in the front seat] says, “I bet you won’t go around them and take that parking space”.

Me to friend 1: Stfu Defense, don’t challenge this girl. Me to friend 2: Catalyst, I’m not fighting tonight. <– I said this jokingly not knowing what was to come.

When I tell you Catalyst whipped her car around the SC chick car so fast, she almost hit 2 cars trying to squeeze by and get into the parking space. Shit got real when 2 of the SC chicks hopped out their car and started yelling at Catalyst to get out of their parking space. Now I’m in full face palm, like why sweet baby Jesus, why? Over a damn parking space.

Now these girls are pissed and start banging on the trunk of Catalyst car. At this point, I just start taking shots because I know it’s about to be some bullshit for the rest of the night. I’m stuck in the backseat diagonal from Catalyst just shaking my head when another spot opens up in the parking lot and the SC chicks then pull into that space.

I release a small sigh of relief because I’m thinking, I know they were pissed about how it happened but at least everyone got a space so we can now just go on about our business. Catalyst is in the front seat talking shit because they had been pounding on the back of her car. Defense is sitting quietly in her drunkenness. I can’t really even make a speedy exit since she’s parked so close to the car right beside of us:

1. because she can’t drive for shit and

2. because she had to come in at an awkward angle to even get in the space after swerving around the SC chicks.

Catalyst gets out of the car first and next thing I hear is an exchange of curse words between her and the SC chicks. I’m not alarmed, a couple curse words is to be expected after a dick move like that. Defense is still in the front seat chilling, putting on lipstick. I’m in the backseat just drinking because I’m highly annoyed; none of us are on the same accord. I look up in the rearview mirror to see what everyone’s position was since words were still being exchanged….

Remember the part where I said there was 5 of them? Mind you, there’s only 3 of us, so that means in theory that at least 2 of us would have to double up if shit popped. I didn’t really expect things to escalate to that level because we’re talking about a parking space here, a real first world problem. Silly girl, silly silly girl.

Out of the SC chick car there is a tall dark skin girl with natural hair, a tall wide brown girl, a stocky girl with short hair, an average sized woman and a petite woman — In summary a least 3 of them were bigger than us/me. Granted I’m only 5’2″, I scrap, my two homegirls were taller but definitely not fighters. Next thing I know, Catalyst single-handedly insults each one of those girls. She called them everything in between fat, ugly, nappy headed, black and every thing else she could think of.

Tune in this Thursday for the rest of the story!

*windmills off blog*



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *