Love Lessons: Learn it. Live it.

One of the worst feelings I’ve probably ever experienced with a significant insignificant other is being in love alone. Feeling or caring deeply about another person who can’t/won’t/doesn’t reciprocate. I’ll never forget the last time I wore my heart on my sleeve and a guy metaphorically ripped that shirt off and A-Town stomped on it.

If you ever have to worry if a man really loves you or cares about you, one word…………..

DON’T. *Bryson Tiller voice*

If he really does love you or care about you, there is nothing for you to wonder about and if you find yourself wondering then I’ll go ahead and save you the energy by telling you he doesn’t. AND even if he does care, he doesn’t care enough or else he wouldn’t leave you hanging.

When in love or in a relationship period, you give up putting your own emotions first. You learn to accommodate how your significant other will feel if you say or do something and if you know it will upset/hurt them………DON’T do it. I’ve known so many guys who know how to make a woman feel like she’s asking for too much when she asks him to be considerate of her feelings. To the point where the woman genuinely questions if she’s asking him for too much.

Asking to be loved the right way, is never too much. In fact, you should demand to be loved the right way. Who are you to accept anything less?

 

And speaking of being loved the right way, don’t ever let a person guilt you or corner you into feeling responsible for their deficits. A little ego stroking is good for any individual, but when you gotta continuously stroke their ego just to make them feel comfortable -their problem is not with you, it’s with THEMSELVES. As romanticized as “filling a void” for your significant other sounds, it’s not your place to fill in a blank. You can supplement but don’t substitute. You will stay in over your head if the shoes are too big to fill.

Also, if you’ve ever been through tough times with your significant other or God forbid you made a mistake and jeopardized the relationship you have with that person –IF you both decide that you’re going to move past it, then you BOTH need to do that. One of you can’t use that hurt as a crutch later in the relationship; because using that as a crutch will knock you off your feet more times than you can count.

When I took a guy back after his infidelity, I don’t think I ever truly forgave him until he was long gone out of the picture. Every argument we got into, it didn’t matter if it was because he left the bathroom light on while he wasn’t in the bathroom anymore –it always went back to “You FU*CKED that B*TCH!” As hurt as I was, I was wrong.

“Love… it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. / It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” *See 1 Corinthians 13:4-13 for full scripture.

Real love is so much more than petty attempts to get even or make the other one mad and it doesn’t keep a tally of f*ck ups. Love right and maturely. It takes a lot of maturity to get to that point where you don’t keep bringing up the past in the present, ESPECIALLY if it was a situation that hurt you.

Now that I’ve completely diverted from my original message here, I think I’ll go have a seat in Marvin’s room. Until next time, I hope you learned something and I hope you get some good unconditional loving.

-A.

Comments 2

  • I love this Ashley! I do agree that love is so much more than (insert adjective/situation here) but love is such a hard thing to explain. Even reading this, I was just like “Girl…girl…girlllll” But anywho, I have a question.

    No shade, all tea but how do you (the general you) know what love is? Is it easier to tell what it’s not?

    • Hey girl heyyyy! Thanks for visiting and sharing your thoughts!

      But in reference to your question, I don’t think there’s necessarily a static definition of what “love” is per se. There’s so many categories of love. I think as far as romance, it’s a lot easier to recognize what’s not love than to define what classifies as love.

      Aside from the references in the Bible, I can’t define it. Only talk about my experiences with and without it. I’ll keep peeling back the layers with each post 😉

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