Guard Your Heart: How to tell if he is a F*ckboy

Here’s what I found that a lot of f*ck boys have in common:

  • They don’t want to go on dates. –Yes, Mr. Netflix and chill is a f*ckboy. If he doesn’t want to take you to the next step outside your place or his place (if he even has one), what makes you think he will take it to the next step of a relationship with you?
  • They don’t make you feel secure. –Physically. I need to know if we’re out somewhere, and I get tried by some man, that I don’t have to take his kneecaps out and cripple him by his balls because you can’t or won’t protect me. I need for you to move me out the way, and defend your woman.
  • They don’t make you feel secure. –Emotionally. A guy who has matured into his f*ckboy ways can make you feel like you’re tripping when you have a right to be upset or offended by something he’s done. You find out some chick has been sending him nudes and he makes you feel like the dumb ass for confronting him because he never asked for the nudes, never sent one  back and/or never responded to receiving the picture. BOOOOOY IF YOU DON’T! Check her or whoever else before I do.
  • They hang with other f*ckboys. –It’s scientifically proven that birds of a feather flock together. Well, I don’t know if that’s true, but you are the company you keep.
  • They always got an excuse, or a reason. –Don’t matter for what, they just always got one. Me: Why you ain’t take out the trash? Him: My bad, my back was hurting so I laid down and forgot. Me: Did you pick out a movie time? Him: Oh nah, I figured you’d want to choose. Me: So what are we working towards? Him: I don’t know, I’m not ready for a relationship right now, but I don’t want to let you go either. Knee. Grow. Please.
  • They’re only involved when it’s convenient for them. *Cues Future’s Where Yo Ass Was At* –I can’t tell you how many times a f*ckboy has been in my face tryna piss on the hydrant when they felt threatened by another man, but when I really needed saving, there was not nary a f*ckboy to the rescue. You don’t get to reserve me like a library book and then feel some type of way when somebody else wants to flip my pages, ya shoulda never sat me on the shelf.
  • They have a super inflated ego. –They’re always talking about how this girl and that girl wants them, you do what you want when you got it and blah blah blah. Shutcho’ ass up. You sir, are not popping. Don’t nobody want yo ass like that but me. My ex used to swear all the hoes wanted him, which is all well and fine, except for the fact that they didn’t. Men with inflated egos are definitely projecting from some area where they’re lacking but whatevs.
  • They are the biggest flirts. –Let me preface this by saying, I’m also a big flirt, the difference is I’m a pump fake flirt. I make you feel like you have a chance and then fade to black when guys try to follow through. F*ckboy flirts take any and everything they can get. If a man is not selective about where he puts his face and/or chico stick, you might want to be more selective about who you let babysit your heart. He might f*ck around and leave it at the park or something, he’s careless.
  • They’re inconsistent. –I’ve found that men do something that’s called a heat check. It’s basically when they want to check back in to see if they still “got it”. If they can still get your panties in a bunch. If they can still get you hot, they know they’re good to continue with their fuckboy ways. If you’re cold and distant when they try you, they know they’ll need to show you more attention to warm you back up. This is the guy that you just can’t quite put your finger on what he’s trying to do. Sometimes he’s in it to win it and other times he’s sitting across the room ignoring your presence. Please don’t give this yin yang ass fuck boy the pleasure of knowing he can still get you emotional/horny. The heat check never works in your favor unless you’re doing the heat check. I recently got heat checked and failed like hell. Be better than me fam.

A quick rant before work, stay tuned for Ashley’s Anecdote later this week!

-A.

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