I hate, excuse me, I loathe when guys ask: “So what type of guy do you like?” In my mind, I instantly cue the song “I ain’t got no type” but if I really think about it, I actually do.
Most guys that I’ve ever been in a relationship/whatevership with have been fairly similar as far as appearances go. Like, if you put them all side by side in a line up, they’d probably all look like cousins. Tall, brown, average-to-muscular build with a boyish grin. If you look like this, and are attempting to talk to me, please walk the hell out of my DMs because y’all ain’t nothing but trouble.
I don’t know if I don’t attract anything else, or if I really just don’t pay anyone else attention, but I’ve only had my heart broken by you peanut butter skin toned boys. But the likeness in appearance is not the only similarity…
I was talking about my history of dating f*ck boys and with one of you (peanut butter boys) and he stated that there must be something I like about f*ck boys because I keep getting drawn into them. Now of course at the time, I was super offended, like kneegrow did you just say that it was my fault that I have a piss poor dating history?! After I got over myself, I really started thinking whether or not the men that I’ve dated had something other in common than just appearance, if there’s some way I can learn to identify f*ck boy qualities so that I can avoid choosing the same type of guy and expecting a different outcome.
I came up with a list of how to spot a f*ckboy here, but another reason I hate that question is because I always feel like if I answer the question thoroughly, it’s like giving a man the blueprint to my heart. If I tell you everything that I’m looking for, how do I know that you won’t just cater to that until you bag me and then flip the script once I’m all in love and shit?
Like if I tell you I like guys who love reading, writing and traveling –to a guy who’s a homebody, prefers math and hasn’t read anything that isn’t required reading since college BUT all his conversation and date suggestions happen to fall in line with my interests….. something ain’t right.
I also tend to steer towards guys who are type A. “A” meaning asshole. I don’t know why I have a thing for a man with a smart ass mouth, like why can’t I just settle for a nice guy? If me and my girls meet a group of guys, 9 times out of 10 (because black folk love making up statistics), I’m gonna end up with the guy that talks the most shit. I think I like that edge, that resistance too much. If he ain’t at least a little rough around the edges, he’s too soft for me. <–This is probably my problem.
Not to mention my ego and pride gets out of control sometimes. Guy: Can’t no woman make me <insert action here>. Me: (in my mind) Challenge accepted. I need to stop picking guys that give me obstacle courses in order to be bae and go with the guy who has been trying to prove himself to me this whole time. One day we’ll learn our lesson about wanting the ones that don’t want us or the ones we can’t have.
Needless to say, it was a constructive time of reflection. It doesn’t make sense to expect a more favorable ending if we keep involving the same type of characters in the same story line. Therefore, figure out who you’d usually cast in your love story, and then pick someone completely different. Good luck.
Peace out peanut butter boys,