Ashley’s Anecdotes: Baby Mama Brawl…Butt Ass Naked

So almost exactly a year ago I published That’s Not Yo Bae Bish where I mentioned a bunch of situations that were seemingly hypothetical, but were actually real life events. I promise, I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried. At the time I said that I would do a slow leak where I told the stories, but I never published them.

Welp, today’s anecdote is sponsored by my ex who reached out to me last week with his whole “let’s start over”/”let’s try again”/”I wasn’t ready” spiel. I should’ve told him that he could go to hell with gasoline drawers before that ever happened, but instead I let him down easy with a polite swerve. One day I’ll learn my lesson about letting them down easy, men only understand tough love.

Let me preface this story by saying I’m DELIVERT and I don’t fight no mo’ (wellllll, for the most part), but this is the story of how I finally moved on from my ex… the second to last time.

Let me give you some quick history before I get to the story. I’d been in an off and on relationship with my ex for about a year and a half.<–Problem #1. I will never do off and on again relationships again, I don’t turn off and on. Either we on or we on -kneegrow you thought we broke up but I knew better. We’re together.

He still lived at home and worked moving furniture whenever a small business owner would give him a call. <–Problem #2. No ambition, no stability here but I was still giving bruh-man a chance. I’m not superficial or shallow, but damn it I needed higher standards than a man who didn’t desire his own space or get a legal w-2 form.

He also had a daughter who was almost a year and a half; like I saw her first steps. <–Problem #3. Where there’s a fresh baby, there’s a bitter baby mama. And she was as ghetto as they come, I’m talking about laid non-existent edges, costume jewelry and piss poor grammar. I’ll never again date a man with a child under the age of 3, I don’t have the patience to be your first girl-friend since you split with ya baby mama.

We had been long distance our entire relationship but now that he had finally started a career, gotten an apartment and my long distance job was ending, I was just gonna move in with him, hence my moving to Charlotte. <– Problems #4, 5,  & 6. I will NEVER do long distance again; self-explanatory. He was just learning how to live on his own which is a growing process that every adult should experience, alone. At least for awhile. AND I had the nerve to just go straight from weekend visits to “shacking up” as the old folks would say in reference to a young unmarried couple living together. That’s a big transition that neither of us were ready for.

Lastly, I worked a temp job shortly before I moved, at that time housing was provided and transportation in D.C. doesn’t really warrant having a car. So THIS KNEEGROW had my furniture in his house and was driving my car, while I was working day in and day out all summer and he was out there cheating with slut buckets.

Now.

Tune in tomorrow for the rest of the story! #AshleysAnecdotes

-A.

 

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