I absolutely LOATHE this question. 1. Because EVERY new possibae asks it. 2. Because after being asked so many times, it’s like damn why the hell am I single? A real humbling experience when you start to think something is wrong with you.
Every new possibae I meet: So why are you single?
Me (in my head): Because none of you f*ckers know how to act right.
Me (out loud): Oh, idk, I guess the timing has just always been off.
Him: Oh, well I’m just surprised because you’re beautiful, funny, seems like you got your stuff together…blah blah blah.
Me: Oh well thank you I’m flattered (internal eye roll).
You wanna really know why I’m single?! Even if you don’t I’ll tell ya. Matta fact, I’ll have a real honest conversation and give you a list why most ladies are still single when they are seemingly a good catch:
- Because she’s still emotionally attached to some f*ck boy that either don’t know how to treat her right or don’t desire to treat her right.
- Because she has commitment issues or unresolved baggage from past relationships so she self-sabbotages any chance she has at a real relationship.
- She hasn’t prioritized a relationship -these are the ladies that are married to their career or so busy taking care of other people that they ignore their own needs.
- She has unrealistic expectations of who and what her man should be – These are the chicks when you ask them what they’re looking for, the roll out a scroll 5 feet long and start going down the list. Being THAT damn picky only works when you’re a child and your parents just want you to eat something.
- She doesn’t accept and/or love herself enough, so she really doesn’t know how to love another person…so anyone she always gets, ends up leaving. If you don’t know how to love on your star-player (i.e. you) hooooowwww are you gonna love on someone else?
- And this is probably the most obvious reason – You keep looking or not looking for the same thing in the same place. Just what the hell do you expect to find looking for Mr. Right amongst a bunch of men you know are Mr. Wrongs? Birds of a feather flock together. You’ve got to step into other social circles, go to events you normally wouldn’t go to, sit/eat/drink at restaurants/bars you’re unfamiliar with. ESPECIALLY if you’re a homebody. I guarantee you, Mr. Right is not gonna be sitting on yo couch when you get home from work. There may be a possibae at your job, but I don’t recommend shitting where you sleep (for those of you non-southerners that means don’t set up a potentially uncomfortable situation, like if y’all don’t work out, in a place where you absolutely have to go and spend time; it just makes everyone miserable, mostly you).
And though this list makes it seem like it’s your fault for still being single- that is not, but kinda is what I’m saying. I think that when you really get to the root of why you haven’t connected with anyone or met anyone, you’ll find that it’s not just because men ain’t sh*t. There are some decent ones out there and a good chance that you’ve swerved a couple of them.
I’ll be the first to admit that I’m a medley of a couple of these reasons. Have I recognized it? Yes. Have I changed it…nah not really. I’ve been “single” for 2.5 years now, and I air quote single because I’ve had some pretty intense Whatever-ships that never evolved into relationships but I can’t even begin to step on that soapbox. My point is, once you find that weed, you rip it out and let your garden flourish. (I know I’m over dosing on the garden references, but they work for every situation!)
The take-away for you is to really, and I mean honestly, answer why are you single? Feel free to comment below!