Now at the beginning of the year I had a neat little title “Lessons I Learned in 2015” post that I was going to drop, but folk have been tap dancing on my nerves as much as I’ve been out here protecting feelings, so now it’s bombs over bASHdad (read like Baghdad).
Lesson # 147: Everybody that call themselves yo friend… Ain’t yo friend. I don’t give a damn how likable you are and how many people you manage to please, everybody who say they’re for you ain’t always for you. I had to learn this the hard way. Think of your friendship like a garden (kinda cheesy I know), but you’d want to get rid of any weeds in the garden right? #Plottwist -Sometimes even weeds can look like grass.
I encourage ALL people, male and female, to take a good look at the people you’re surrounded by. It may be time for you to do some spring cleaning and get rid of some of the squares in your circle. Now this doesn’t necessarily mean you have to cease and desist “friendship” but maybe you need to create more space between people who are merely/barely associates.
Let me tell you 3 types of “Friends” you need to get rid of:
The Using A** Friend:
Some people just want to be near you because they see you flourishing and though they may not have ill intentions toward you, they also ain’t adding sh*t to your life. Once you get to be 20-something, hell honestly once you make it out of elementary school where the only benefit to being friends is because y’all can share school supplies and food –people need to contribute positively to your life. This doesn’t mean that people owe you something, it means that they value a friendship/relationship enough with you that they don’t desire to just take from you, but they also want to pour into your life in any way that they can. In order for you to grow as a person, you need to surround yourself with people that can teach you things, help you network in spaces you might not normally be able to, or at the absolute VERY least got yo back if some sh*t pop off or you need something. As you pluck people out of your circle, PLEASE get rid of the dead weight just riding your coattails and ain’t helping you to reach your goal. Keep the ones that build you up.
The Hating A** Hoe Friend:
This is the one who seemingly really likes you and think you’re a cool person, but the first chance they get to try to make themselves look or seem better than you, they go from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. First off, there is no comparison here, and not in a cocky, stuck up kind of way. There literally is not a comparison if I am me and you are you, and the last time I checked, that’s what my birth certificate said. You can’t compare apples to oranges B. And listen, I ain’t got time to be in an imaginary competition with people who think they have something to prove. I’ve got news for you, you aren’t my competition, I, am my competition. And since you cannot and never will be me, you lose and will always lose. One of THEEEE most aggravating things I’ve ever experienced as a human being is someone consistently trying to one up me. I say I like Kit-Kats, this hoe says snickers are better. I say I work out 4 times a week, this hoe say she does 2-a-days 8 days out the week. I say I ain’t ate since lunch time, this hoe say she ain’t ate since 2 weeks ago. Hoe. Sit. Down. If you want a prize for being “better” than me, you betta call on Jesus on the mainline and tell Him what you want. I don’t have a problem seeing beauty and/or success in my peers and if I recognize that, I’m not looking for ways to take that away from you honestly I’ll probably ask you for tips. Get rid of the ones who seek to tear you down.
The Fake A** Friend:
This is probably the worst of them all because this is the one who truly seems like they’re #teamyou, all the while they probably talk the most sh*t, throw the most shade or entertain the most bullshit regarding you every chance they get. They might even play “neutral” but what neutral really means is that I might not roll you under a bus myself, but I might also enjoy watching you get hit by one and ain’t gone yell to tell you it’s coming either. But you’d never know it because they greet you with a smile and a hug/handshake and the most enthusiastic hellos. F*ck all you wolf-in-sheep’s clothing ass b*tches. *Ahem* Excuse me, I had a moment. But seriously, I have no respect for fake people who pretend to be something they’re not in order to be nosy/to feel included/to be manipulative/ or to have tea to spill to anyone who has a cup. I can much rather respect the trick who tells and/or shows me that she don’t f*ck with me –and she does just that. Don’t f*ck with me. I’m not a trifling person, if I say I ride for you, I sincerely mean that and I will go through hell and high water for people I care about. Anyone who abuses and/or doesn’t respect this trait
deserves to get their two front teeth kicked in doesn’t deserve the privilege of calling me a friend. Plus I’ve got way too many detachment issues and can’t keep getting attached to ain’t sh*t people. Remove all the faulty, defective friends in your foundation.
Now at the end of the day, you should have a “If God be for me, then who can be against me?”/ “My enemies will become my footstool” attitude. –But in the event you ain’t that spiritually mature yet, let this be the jumpstart to re-evaluating who and/or what you allow to impact your life negatively. #2015taughtme
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