Let that Hurt Go: Lessons in Learning your Lesson

Anybody else out there have really realistic dreams or should I say nightmares? I find that what I often try to suppress in my conscious mind often seeps into my subconscious, so either way I’m forced to deal with it. I won’t tell the story of what dream I just woke up from for fear of airing all my dirty laundry but I will share the lesson out of it.

The lesson is: learn your lesson the first time.

It doesn’t matter WHAT that particular lesson is, when you see it, know it, embrace it. Otherwise you will keep going through the same bullshit over and over again until you do learn it.

Ever wonder why life feels like it’s on repeat? Same ole shit, just a different day? Same situation, different person. Same situation, same person. <–Signs you didn’t learn your lesson the first time and now you’re on repeat until you do learn it. We’re 3 months into the new year… How many of you have stuck to your New Years Resolutions? *crickets*


By now you may have stopped working out or eating right, or still haven’t made the time for yourself that you said you would, or saved the money that you said you would OR them folk you said you were going to leave in the last year, are now riding shot gun at the forefront of your life right now.

A habit it is an extremely hard thing to break because it’s (1) something you already feel comfortable doing or not doing (2) it gives you some sort of relief/release  or (3) it might not even present itself as a habit –it maybe a little harder to identify than you recognize. It’s easy to recognize things like smoking or drinking or eating bad as bad habits because those things somewhere down the road have negative physical effects.

But what about the things down the road that have negative mental, emotional, spiritual effects –those are habits too and chances are you haven’t developed the same type of discipline or system to break those habits.

I personally think heartbreak needs a rehab. Why is there no 10 step program where we collect chips when we reach milestones without relapsing back to that dark place? –Whether your dark place was feeling unloved, loved for the wrong reasons or too damn loved. If you have progressed out of that place, where is the badge of honor when you finally do move on, when you finally accept your situation, when you finally love who you are and where you are without the validation of ANY other human being. This could be a lover, friends and/or family. 

Most people think heartbreak and instantly think romance but there have been plenty of times I’ve had my heartbroken by people who weren’t lovers… People who were “friends” or family. 

I’m digressing like hell, but I’ll say this: half the battle is identifying and accepting your issue (weight loss, unhealthy finances, drug addiction, love addiction, etc.) –there are some who have done that and still keep holding hands with the very thing, person, situation that hurts them.

Don’t be that man/woman. That person is a sad, bitter, angry person (maybe one, maybe all three) who cannot because they will not. If there is a thing, a person or a situation, I challenge you to go one day without it, then another day without it, then another and another until you forget that that thing ever once had power in your life –AND if you slip up… Start. Over. 

Don’t wallow in feeling defeated because you’re only ever really defeated when you quit trying. You can let that hurt go. Hurt = thing, person, situation that affected or affects your current well-being.

I know by now that y’all have got to be wondering what that dream was actually about, maybe one day I’ll actually share but for now…



You‘ve got to let it go, because it damn sure won’t let you go.

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