What is a Bae?

More recently the term “Bae” has been floating off the lips of damn near every single ready to mingle person I know. 

I want to emphasize the fact that I said every single (as in not in a relationship) person I know, because the truth is, there ain’t no couples out there only referring to their significant other as “bae”. Generally you also hear them refer to their significant other as their boyfriend/girlfriend, lady/man, husband/wife, etc.

In my humble opinion, “bae” is some arbitrary term created to substitute not having a real title when you’re in a more-than-friends but less-than-committed whatevership. The more I think about it, the more I think that a man came up with this word. It was pure genius I tell you.

Let me explain. Let’s say a man either:

  1. Hasn’t decided if he wants to take it to the next level with a woman or not, but she’s getting antsy about “meaning something to him”.
  2. He’s receiving BAEnefits (i.e. benefits) that he enjoys from a woman that he has no intentions of taking it to the next level with, but she doesn’t know he feels this way and is getting antsy about “meaning somethig to him”.

See where I’m going with this? If a guy tells either of the babes above that they’re “just friends” he may lose her because she clearly wants to be more. If he says they’re in a relationship, he screws himself and we know y’all fellas are all about self-preservation so that’s a no-go. Guys also know that they can’t tell any self-respecting woman that they’re gonna put her in a gray space while they either figure it out or find whatever it is that they’re really looking for. 

Now, here comes the term “bae” to the rescue. You tell her she’s now your “bae” and she feels like you’ve given her something. Like it means exclusivity and commitment. Sistuh girlfriend honey, let me tell you that there are no written rules for this alleged bae space, he could have five other women who also think they’re bae.
If you still don’t see my comparison here ladies: a BAElationship is like a female with a good weave, beat face, fake lashes, fleeked eyebrows, butt pads and a waist snatched by a body shaper. It may look good to the naked eye if done correctly, but when you really strip it down for what it is, you’ll find that it’s not what you thought it was at all.

IF a man proposes a baelationship ship to you, I’m not saying to turn down his offer, all I’m saying is to read the fine print. The problem with some women is that when they’ve been waiting for so long to go to the “next level” and they’re just so eager to move up, that they’ll blindly accept whatever that “next level” is.

I got questions. What’s on the next level? Are we the only ones here? You inviting other people here or nah? Does this level come with booty rubs and free food? *ahem* I digress.

My point is, make sure y’all are on the same page so that YOU KNOW if he genuinely needs more time to go there with you OR if he’s just using you as a place holder or when he’s bored. Knowing your place doesn’t just apply to side-chicks.

Speaking of defining who is bae or not, make sure to check out my post “That’s Not Yo Bae Bish” for my personal anecdote on baes.


*Disclaimer* Even though I speak from a woman’s perspective, most of my advice can be applied to the opposite sex as well. (Scroll down a little further to hear the thoughts of my last guest blogger on this bae phenomenon.) There are some ladies out there calling good men “bae” when there are 3 more in her pocket. I know this.

Hopefully I’ve completely altered your perception of what a bae is, ultimately you can determine whether it’s being used as a term of endearment or endure(ment).

Don’t BAElieve the hype,


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