So I think it’s safe to say that cuffing season is officially over. (cuffing season. n. A period in time, usually during the winter months, where individuals find a significant other/ boo, to spend time with.) I guess you can say I got pseudo “cuffed”. I entertained a couple of guys. And have since ceased communication with them both, but I’m a girl so I want to talk about it.
Guy number 1 was fall and early winter. I genuinely liked him… even though I shouldn’t have. He still lived at home, didn’t have a permanent job (but a pretty consistent illegal one), he smoked and had a kid & matching baby momma. <–Eventually I’m going to learn my lesson about picking up guys from Cosmos >_<. But we had chemistry, I really liked his face and I was still bouncing back from the last heart break –which made it super easy to get attached to him prematurely. I think I was lowkey looking for someone to fill the void my ex left; I really wanted someone to care, to spend time with, someone to give energy to because that’s what I was used to. I still thought about my ex a lot, I should have known better then.
Our fling picked up speed rather quickly, “every weekend turned into every evening” *Jhene Aiko voice*. We started off with an understanding that there were no real expectations, we were just going to see where this went. <–Mistake. You can’t give so much of your energy to one person and then expect for feelings not to develop. Eventually I became the typical girl and hit him with the “So what are we doing? What are we? Where is this going?” The suspense of not knowing if I could count on him to be around/want me was too much to bear.
In turn he fed me with lines like “I really like you, I’m feeling you but I can’t commit to anything right now. I need to get myself together first. I know you’re the right one though, I love everything about you. Blah. Blah. Blah.” I heard all that, and even now as I read it I can tell it was bullshit, but at that point in time I couldn’t see past wanting what I wanted. Plus this fool was getting free home-cooked meals, regular back and d*ck massages and practically owed me some rent for all the time he spent in my apartment -at the very least I was determined to get a commitment. I told him to either step up or fall back. “I got you. I’ll step up.” -He said.
I’m still nigga-less, so you know that shit didn’t happen.
The pregnancy scare is what showed me his true colors. *gasp* Chill. We were using protection. I’m just usually very regular and one month it didn’t come at all so I panicked even though in theory there was nothing to worry about (because homie is also on the pill -I’ve made it this far without an unplanned pregnancy. If y’all ever see me with child, know that that ish was intentional). But I say all this to say that home-boy went ghost for awhile and communication became real scarce.
His excuse was the second job that he’d picked up. Bull. Shit. I wish y’all could see my face.
Once he tried to start coming back around, I was so done with him. In case you didn’t know they always come back for at least a round 2 –that’s if you let them. I can’t stress the value in seeing things for what they really are, it’s how a lot of us get caught up. Oan, this isn’t gender specific, women can do the same thing to men. It’s called getting friend-zoned.
I won’t say that home boy was a waste of time, but definitely a waste of energy. I’m glad cuffing season is over so I can just frolic and be merry. If a good guy does happen to come along so be it. But at least I’m not yearning for that attention, I’ll discuss guy number 2 later. And booooyyyy was he a story.