This is, by no means, a how-to blog. But the idea crossed my mind last week and I thought, what the hell why not? Today’s topic is “How to Have Better Box.” I think it’s only fair that I do 2 posts, one for the womenz on how to provide better box and one for the menz on what women really like or what we really really don’t like. And yes, this is a biased post. Ladies, here are a few things/tips/helpful hints that will up your skill level in bedroom Olympics.
- Hydrate. -I’m not saying this just because all the doctors say to drink 8 glasses of water a day, water is key to having a “well-oiled machine” if you catch my drift. The better hydrated you are, the better hydrated she is.
- You are what you eat. -I’m not talking about you turning into a cheese burger, buttttt do know that what you eat can affect the taste of your “cookie”. Fruits are a great way to naturally sweeten yourself, my favorites are pineapples, strawberries and melons. Anything greasy is not a good idea, unless your man wants a McDouble…
- Do Yoga. -Of course the health benefits of anaerobic exercise are plenty, but I’m telling you to do yoga because no man wants to have sex with a limited range of motion. Flexibility makes it comfortable for both parties (or more if your into that). Aside from that, doing yoga strengthens your core –a strong core means that you can reciprocate in every position, you know be an active player.
- Exercise. -This is different from yoga because it builds up your stamina. Personally I think it’s kinda funny when a dude runs out of fuel quickly, but if you actually really like this chump, you wanna be able to take turns –don’t be the one getting laughed at for running out of steam. You can build endurance.
- Go play. -With yourself. Learn yourself. It may sound dirty to you at first, but if you don’t know what makes you tick, how do you expect Joe Schmoe to give you what you need without a little direction. Go ahead and make this process easier for everyone, I’ve been with myself for 25 years and no one knows me better than me, well except Jesus, but we’re gonna tip-toe around Him in this heathen discussion. –My point is, know yourself.
- Go shopping. -Build up a repertoire. You should have toys, outfits, creams, oils, candles, playlists, routines, etc. etc. All things that you feel comfortable wearing, doing, using. –Beware, these things are not to be whipped out for every Tom, Dick, and Harry; reserve this for your man (the one with a clear title: i.e. Boyfriend, Fiance’, Husband. NOT boo-thang, whatevership, or the “what-are-we’s”) If you offer this up freely, prepare to create a *ahem ‘scuse my language* Pussy Pied Piper: one that leads all men, good and evil, to your vagina. Which brings me to my next point.
- Don’t be a hoe. -The term hoe is open to your interpretation, but all I’ll say to that is make sure you still have walls. Men generally like to feel them during intercourse. *Again ‘scuse my language but you should not have a bottomless pussy pit. That snap back is only going to snap it so much. Which brings me to my next point.
- Do Kegels. -Kegels teach you how to control the muscles that contract in your coochie kingdom. Learning how to do so can really drive your man crazy. In order to locate these muscles, next time you go to the bathroom, stop your stream of pee. Now let it flow, now stop it. This is muscle you need to isolate, once you figure out how to contract it you can do it outside of peeing. In fact, I’m doing them as I type this post ^_^
- Shave. -Your legs, arms, the coochie kingdom and anything else on you hairy. If you’ve been with a guy for awhile, he’s probably told you that he doesn’t care as long as the cookie is good –but we all know he’d appreciate it if your leg doesn’t feel like a caterpillar. Hairy pits are just unsightly. And you don’t have to have a naked coochie kingdom, but at least make sure it looks pretty; he should not have to become Tyrone Irwin, the Coochie Crocodile Hunter just to go down on you. Clear the jungle.
- Be Open. -Minded. Adventurous. The bedroom is like a playground for adults; explore, make friends, tire out. Your man might be into adult films (making them or just watching them), he might like role play, hell your bedroom doesn’t have to be a “bedroom”; he might be into public places. Even if you’re somewhat of a prude, do yourself a favor and every now and again when he asks to “try something different”, say yes.
Now these are just a few pointers, perhaps with enough feedback/demand I’ll write another list. I did assume certain things were understood such as “freshen up”. If you’ve been sitting on the box all day, don’t let you man come over and your wash cloth still be stiff *insert emoji eyes*. And umm, a healthy box is good box, get your regular check ups.
Hopefully you found some of these tips helpful, I’m always open to learning new things so if there are some tips and tricks you have up your sleeve, don’t be stingy, share!