Ashley’s Anecdotes: Accidentally the Mistress Pt. 2

Her: Did you know he was married?

Me: No.

Her: We’ve been married a year, together for 5.

Me: Oh.

Her: So I just need to hear it from you, are you two in a relationship?

Me: Relationship, no. Communicating yes.

Her: Well honey you can have him because I’m divorcing his ass.

Me: *deep sigh* So you two live together? Because I’ve been there and I didn’t see any sign that there was a woman living there. Do you have more than one house?

Her: You’ve been at my house? *stammers, gives address to house*

Me: Yep, that’s the one.

Her: You had sex in my bed?

You can only guess where the conversation went from there. We had a very candid discussion to say the least. I didn’t feel like I had anything to hide from her. I wasn’t going to protect this man that had deceived me although part of me still didn’t want to accept what happened. She suggests that we call him on 3-way, oh the good-ole-fashioned 3-way. I agree to it, I want to hear him tell me he’s married so I can feel it. So it can become real.

She calls and this jerk doesn’t say anything. THE epitome of “cat got your tongue”. She’s cussing him out and I’m just sitting there listening, repeating over and over again that this isn’t happening. I needed to hear him say something, I needed to be able to put all the pieces together because everything wasn’t adding up. I had to make sense out of nonsense. So finally we end the conversation. I hang up and lay on my bed and just laugh. A legit laugh to keep from crying moment, that was followed by a twitter melt-down.

I’ve been cheated on before, you never really forget the hurt, the anger or the feelings of betrayal from your loved one. I empathized with the wife. Then I had the internal struggle of whether or not I was the side-piece or the main. I had somehow gotten into a real life Amina-Peter Gunz-Tara relationship. For those of you unfamiliar with the scenario, Peter Gunz was with his girlfriend of 13 years with 2 sons and then turns around and marries his side-piece of a year while he’s still with the long term girl friend –things just weren’t right.

The trifling part is that shortly afterwards he gave me a call back. A logical person would not have answered the phone.

Clearly I’m not logical.

I answered the phone and he proceeds to tell me how she does this all the time. “All the time?” Now I’m pissed all over again, you mean to tell me that your wife always has the nerve to call your side b*tches and tell them you’re married? The NERVE of her! I patronized the hell out of him because hurt people hurt people.

He goes on to explain how they are “legally separated” and will be finalizing the divorce soon. Either way, I’m still flipping shit because that’s something you should definitely tell someone you’re dating. “Hey, I think you’re amazing. I’d really like to see where this goes -I have a wife- let’s go out some time.”

When I called bullshit, he said he didn’t want to tell me at first cuz he thought I wouldn’t date him then. YOU DAMN SKIPPY. I want no parts of anyone’s husband. I sat there in disbelief that somehow he had rationalized tricking me into dating him.

Now any and all trust for him is gone. But since I’m a glutton for punishment I still went on a few more dates with him after sh*t hit the fan. I had made him show me the separation papers and that gave me a little bit of solace but it was short lived. To this day he still dives in my DMs even though this happened years ago, I open up the messages so he can see that I read it but don’t respond.

I’m petty like that.



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