Today I feel like ranting, so, don’t mind if I do. For those of you who don’t know I’ve been out of a relationship for about 3 months now; I have a guideline that for every year you spend in a relationship with a person it takes about 3 months to get over them. My last relationship was roughly a year and a half so I’m now at the point where I’m playing with the idea of having a new boyfriend. Here’s the problem, men ain’t shidddd. Ok ok, take that back. I won’t use such a blanket statement, I’ll just say the men that I’m attracting aren’t cutting it. Let’s talk.
Let’s first address that my text log looks like this
- John Wet Willies
- Mark Wells Fargo
- Dwayne Nice Hair
I’ve met so many people that either I don’t save the number or have to save a description instead of just the name because trying to recap everything takes work. You’d think “cast your net wide, you’ll catch more fish”, well all I’ve caught are feelings, mixed signals, and a bunch of inconsistent consistencies.
I truly believe that each person attracts a certain type of person, hear that fellas? I’m taking some responsibility for the no-good men I attract. My problem, is that I can’t figure out how to stop attracting these same guys (so if you have some insight, please comment). Here’s what I tend to attract:
- Men who are work-in-progress, a.k.a. “projects”
- Men who think having an independent woman relieves them of being the man (i.e. do little for her, but get a lot in return)
- Men who are inconsistent/unstable… in everything in life for example switched jobs multiple times in the last year or two, text real heavy then disappear, then resurface, do sweet shit, then nothing at all
Of course these are mostly negative, I do attract some positive things like… sense of humor, attractive… this list is making me depressed. Sense of humor don’t equal flowers at work, or gas in my tank, groceries for home; you know the practical ish. I’m not high maintenance, I’m actually pretty easy to please because I do most things for myself. For some reason I keep meeting men who want to effortlessly be with me.
Sir, imma need for you to put in some work. Cuz alllllllaa dis *does body roll* is not a cheap thrill. Sure, I’m a giver, a care taker, old-fashioned and built for longevity. Which is why I’m so sick of meeting Mr. Wrong, Mr. No Ambition, Mr. No Commitment, and Mr. WTF Was I Thinking. I knew you’d have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your Prince Charming, but damn I’m tired of having my lily pad rocked for no reason. (ok, that sounded sexual but I promise it wasn’t)
I’m [this] close to getting a dating website so I can start pre-screening men, judge not! Stay posted for more “Ashley Dates Again” updates. In the meantime, stay off my lily pad.