Break-ups are tough for many reasons but I guarantee your biggest hang up is this- you sit back and remember all the good times you had, how it used to be, ponder what happened to make it go awry… then you start thinking I wonder if he/she misses me, wonder what they’re doing, what if we can still work it out. Well, stop.
You, my friend, are in love with a concept that no longer exists. It’s no longer a tangible love, just traces of what you had. A mirage; a vision of what you’d like to see, figment of your imagination that will fade to black the more you try to reach for it.
You’re not doing anything but torturing yourself. Even if that person hasn’t moved on yet, you should because they’re probably not sitting around thinking about you; they’re probably already engaging in some of my tips below. So here they are:
- Pick up a hobby – you need to distract yourself from yourself, stop thinking about what you feel/think you lost. A soured relationship is never a loss, just a learning experience that makes you better for the one you’re supposed to be with.
- Throw out his/her shit – because even if you don’t bust out into tears every time you look at that teddy bear immediately, if it resurfaces 3 weeks later you’re gonna wanna go jump… off a cliff that is
- Get a rebound – and I’m not talking about no basketball. I’m talmbout some temporary being that peaks your interest enough to make you forget about whatever-his-face is. He/She must be fine. And just for shits and giggles, take a cute picture with them, post it to social media with a very vague caption like 😉 or <3 or #heyboo so your ex can see it and die slowly. Heh heh. *Kanye shrug*
- Workout & Dress up – Even if you never see that ex again, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing that you’re hotter and not a hot mess. Do NOT fall apart, I repeat do NOT fall apart.
- Stay out of Marvin’s room – Even though it may be tempting, Drake’s emotional ass will have you having a whole conversation with yourself in a dark room wearing pajamas and Jordan’s contemplating just going to bed or going to key his car. Refrain.
- Pick your poison – There’s no time like the present to decide what your favorite alcohol choice is, mine is wine, In fact at this point I should just start my own vineyard in the back yard; it would be cheaper.
- Get some – I’ll leave this open for your own interpretation 😉
- Go out – You don’t have to club, but you do have to get your ass off the couch and out of the house, ESPECIALLY if y’all used to live together or spend a considerable amount of time together in that space. Go to Starbucks, the mall or even my all time favorite, Walmart. Just somewhere that you don’t lay your head every night.
- Clean up – Wash the sheets that still smell like him/her, get rid of his/her favorite mayo that you hate, flip the couch mattress from where his/her ass made a permanent dent, whatever. I personally sold all my shit and bought new stuff but I know everyone isn’t in a position to do that, but it was very liberating.
- Reconnect with your friends – Remember you actually like them hoes? Spend some time with them, they’ve missed you.
- Treat yourself – With whatever your guilty pleasure is because if you don’t who will? You deserve it, you deserve it *Future voice* and lastly
- Meditate/pray – Find some inner peace and seek guidance. (ps I know y’all weren’t expecting this one, curveballlllll)
I think if you do a combination of these things it may not heal you entirely or completely fill the void, but it will at least get you moving in the right direction (even if it is the wrong way 😉 I’ve calculated that for every year you’re with a person, it takes 3 months to get over them. So give yourself that time and don’t start anything serious within that grieving period.
Let go of the mirage you keep staring at, walk through your desert, and make it to your watering hole – the place where you’ll thrive.
Still walking through my desert, but at least I chucked the deuces to that mirage and am headed to the land of good and plenty.