Teach Me How to Love: 101


Dear Musiq,

We got beef.

In his song “Teach me”, he romanticizes teaching an individual how to “love”. He identifies himself as a man, that in fact, does not know how to adequately love a woman and because of that, there are issues in his relationship [purpose of the song]. Now he speaks of being a man by definition; he does what he’s supposed to in providing and protecting his family. He never cries, doesn’t express his feelings, I am man hear me roar, yada yada yada.

So… I knew these guys existed, hell even dated them before; HOWEVER, Musiq makes it sound all cute and shit to be the one teaching these dudes “how to love”. Lies. Teaching a man to love has got to be right up there with birthing a child, as far as difficulty. It seems like an impossible task, it’s painful along the way, and sometimes you just feel like throwing in the towel; but what keeps you going is the thought of the beautiful moments you’ll experience after it’s all said and done.

Ladies, if you’ve ever dealt with an emotionally distant man, you know as well as I do how frustrating it can be to get him to open up, understand your feelings and show that he’s equip to handle your [emotional] needs. Getting these things to happen takes patience, time, persistence, and hours of venting to the home girls.

Men, I’m not discounting you in any way because I know there are those of you that love your girl with all your heart. You were just absent on the day you were supposed to be taught how to show all of those feelings. That, or some jarhead has drilled it into your mind that showing emotion and feeling is weakness so you feel the need to be hard and coated all day every day with your girl.

Stop. There’s a time and a place for everything. There is a balance between your necessary roughness and sensitivity, we need to see it. Sure it makes you vulnerable, but you can’t be in love and not make yourself vulnerable at some point.

In conclusion, I’ll say that teaching someone “how to love” is not a 3 credit hour course, it’s not a one stop shop, it’s not a delightful process at all; but it is real and more like earning a P.h.D. With all the time it takes, the knowledge you learn and the trial and error, it’s tough but the ultimate results are immeasurable. So if you chose to learn, make sure you don’t just stop at certification or associate’s degree…


#notateacherbuticanteachyouthings 😉

Comments 2

  • Well what about women?? Alot of them dont kno how 2 love a man either. Alot of them think that not having sex with anybody else is what makes it a relationship. They tend to forget that men have needs too. In fact most women in this day and age dont even know that at all. I feel like alot of women can do alot more to make their men WANT to love them. Everyone is built to love, so thats not something you have to teach.

    • Well Mr. McDaniel, is it? Umm, sir you’re absolutely right that there are women that don’t know how and maybe I’ll address that in a different post. But good point. Thanks for commenting 😉

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