New Respect pt. 2 “Scrippa Edition”

Now I am one that can admit wrong when I am at fault, well at least I can now, I can’t speak for about 2 years ago but that’s neither here nor there. My point is, I am guilty. Guilty of hateration. That’s right I said it. Been hating on the scrippahs (script-puhs) getting all this shine in EVERY rap song, not once  (outside of Drake and Jamie Fox) do you hear of a regular ass woman getting praise for getting up going to work at the office and coming back home before dinner,

I mean, can I get a shout out for handling 250 teenagers 5 days a week for 40 hours each day? Why I gotta be pu**y popping on a handstand to get some appreciation? –This is how the average working woman may feel, but after taking a pole “instruction” class –I have a WHOLE new respect for “exotic dancers” because they make that shit look easy, oh but it’s not.

Let me tell you about my first experience in “pole instruction”. First off I decided to try it because I wanted to get in touch with my sexy, been boo’d up for awhile and now I’m single again and feel a lil rusty (just a LIL bit). Nevertheless, I’ve heard about pole fitness and y’all know I’m all about fitness so in my mind this is a win win situation right?

Well… let’s just say that after one class a chick is sore, bruised and feeling kinda awkward. Strippers make that shit look EASY, simple tricks require a lot of muscle control, muscle isolation and strength. So even the most loose booty-ed stripper probably has more muscle control than your 4% body-fat-having-ass. And let’s be clear, I’m not talking about that stripper that seductively grinds the pole the whole time, I’m talking about getting airborne and swinging your body against a metal pole without cracking your skull open. THAT, is skill.

If you’ve never tried it before, I highly encourage a class or 2, you’ll learn a lot about yourself in the process I guarantee it. –Whether that’s a good lesson or bad lesson is completely up to that person. A few things I learned:

  1. I will NEVER fight a stripper –that bitch has hidden muscles you’ll never see and you’re asking to get your ass whooped.
  2. Thigh meat is good for something other than just rubbing together — it also serves as an excellent anchor when pole sitting ^_^
  3. My lower body is a beast, but my upper body is like a newborn baby deer –cannot hold it’s own weight *smh*

That was just class one and I plan on continuing this “workout plan” for awhile so stay tuned for updates. In the meantime, if you’re a lady take a class or two, hell if you’re a man that’s interested *werk hunnie*. I promise you you’ll gain a whole new level of respect for strippers.

And for those of you who are uptight and judging my pole-capades (pronounced like es-capades but with the word pole instead of “es”) just know that it’s ok, God made the pole and my thigh meat, so have a seat _.


*currently rapping “Yeah I luh dem strippas”*

Ashley La’Shae

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *